Returning to self care and all that Jazz

In may when I returned to the UK, I was horrified to find that my son had been taken to hospital critically ill. After a week in a coma he started to recover from a life threatening illness. This meant  I had to cancel the planned trip on the Ghana Liberation tour with with Protect Black Women project.https://protectblackwomen.com/about-us/

Yes I was bitterly disappointed, but family comes first. As we moved towards the end of the summer I realised how tired I had become and how much I needed to take a complete break and rest and recover.

At the end of July I trained a new group of master facilitators in the black Empathic Approach to psychotherapy. Seven people attended the weekend workshop and together we achieved recognition and awareness of how to apply this approach and the importance of integrating it into training therapy work coaching, supervision and the helping professions.

Participants enjoyed meeting each other and first-hand coaching and engagement with me on this approach.  It was a success and this means we have increased the numbers of master facilitators willing to apply and train others with this approach in the field.

As we neared the end of the summer and I considered my exit from the UK and return to my ancestral home in Tobago, my mind focused on the launch of my new legacy book released on September 5th. ‘A Black Empathic Approach to psychotherapy-Growing from Rage to Compassion’.

Two experienced facilitators led a relatively new one-day workshop on ‘Celebrating mixed heritage’. This workshop was led by Lydia Puricelli and Sharon Hastings. This is still a relatively untouched area in the training of therapists.

As a model and encouragement to others I want to share  my growing attention to self care,

I would like to mention my third encounter with horses in September, led by Yaa Kandzifo.

She led a unique 'Team and Herd' CPD experience for personal and professional growth

It was an inspiring open Holistic Equine workshop, where we were offered a rare opportunity to interact with a gentle herd of horses, guided by experienced coaching practitioners. We were encouraged to step into the natural world and reconnect with the present moment — relax, reflect, and simply be. 

Horses, as intuitive and spiritual beings, invite you to experience authentic self-expression, freedom, and discovery. I encourage others to make use of this opportunity.

This excerpt from the book shares some reflection on my second Herd experience. ‘It is early morning, and I am taking a stroll. I feel slow but energised. I reflect on a recent experience with horses. This was the second time attending the ‘Equine Experience’ at Checkenden farm. An experience led by Yaa Kandzifo, another ex-supervisee. She's accompanied by B, who I met on my first experience with the horses. There were nine of us. eight being people of colour. I attended with the intention of building on my growing confidence about being with big animals. I think big animals represent big scary humans, especially big scary men. This was level two for me. I wanted to build on getting close to these huge animals without fear. When we were in the field, I decided to be still and see what happened. A couple of horses approached me, and I noticed that if I made sudden movements they were startled. This seemed to reflect the fear I was feeling inside. Paying attention to the sensitivity and noticing my own vulnerability gave me clues as to how to be with them. Eventually one horse came very close and nuzzled me and I was able to talk to her and stroke her with less fear than my previous experience. She gave me permission to stroke her mane and her head. Then she turned her head to me, and we had a few moments quietly looking into each other's eyes and acknowledging the calmness and sensitivity of a mutual gaze. 

This was a unique experience for me and my second experience of a horse knowing and sensitively connecting to me. There was a quiet empathic connection that I momentarily trusted. There were no words, but something emotional happened, between me and a very different animal. Eventually another horse came and stood quietly close to the one next to me. I was between two large animals who stayed calmly observing me and allowing me to be close, using both my hands to stroke them and notice them sharing their love with me. There was something in the closeness and stillness that evoked a new sense of trust in me. I felt emotional, and that I had broken through a trust barrier about being close to humans, that had been demolished way back in my childhood. Someone who I had been very close to told me once that I frightened people with my fear. I had no idea that I was wearing my fear that loudly. This experience with the horses showed me that if I could tame my own fear, they could get closer. It was clear that they had gained some trust in me, and I felt able to become close. Although I am reflecting on an experience that happened just a few days ago, I am noticing how this has supported my personal development. I have found a way to overcome some of my fears about communicating the real me and when challenges occur, I am telling myself that I am more powerful now and I can be less afraid to connect. Of course, a two-way process must happen for empathy to be appropriately given and received. Just as I had experience with the horses. I still believe that to help heal the traumatic impact of racism, we need communication that attends to this specific hurt and the discourses that perpetuate it.

Denise Lyttle (South Oxfordshire/Hampshire, UK): A qualified humanistic counsellor who offers equine therapy for individuals and groups, focusing on emotional healing, trauma, anxiety, and general well-being. Her practice locations include South Oxfordshire (for groups) and Alton, Hampshire (for individuals and groups).